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In the midst of my Doctor Who marathoning (I have seen about 65% of all Doctor Who and I am trying to raise that number a bit), I thought I would break for a little midnight musings.

Every now and then an image or a post comes up on my tumblr or livejournal feeds, or on a blog I am following, about having friends in the Lolita Community or wanting friends in the Lolita Community.  I have even seen people asking Lolita advice blogs how to make friends in the Lolita Community (which I have always found odd, because making friends in the Lolita Community should be the same as making friends outside the Lolita Community, right?  So shouldn’t you just be asking advice on making friends?)

Admittedly, I agree with the sentiment that I would like to have a really good friend within the Lolita Community, although I am not going to be miserable if that does not happen.  I mean, I have gone most of my life without having a “best friend,” so having only casual friends within the community would not be problematic.

Now, yes, I do have some good friends within the Community, mostly girls that I knew before joining.  However, distance, different priorities, different personalities, or just general life occurrences prevent any of them from becoming REALLY good friends.

Another thing I see sometimes that is interesting, is the idea of Lolita penpals.  I find my brain conflicted on this topic.  On one hand, I so often meet girls who, while participating in the fashion, do not behave in any way that is specifically “Lolita” that would warrant them really being “Lolita Penpals.”  I am not saying that in a bad way, more of a confusion of classification.  On the other hand, I absolutely love the idea of a penpal, especially if they are making a point of talking about Lolita topics and writing in a more…traditional…classic….polite…period fashion….if that makes sense.  I do wonder exactly what people discuss though, and whether Lolita penpals tend to last.  I would love to have a Lolita penpal from Europe maybe, especially somewhere in the UK, or Italy so that I could also practice my Italian (I minored in Italian in college, lived there for four months, and still study everyday to try to maintain and further develop my knowledge).

But I digress.  The prevalence of discussion about friends within the community intrigues me.  I wonder what makes it such a popular topic of discussion here, as opposed to other communities I am a member of.  Perhaps it is the extreme rarity and the desire to have support since it seems to be less common yet more obvious (you can be a Star Wars fan and walk down the street without people knowing, but you cannot miss a girl in a big poofy dress).  Or maybe it is a matter of age, and the fact that many girls in the community are at a point of transition in their life, either just out of college or just entering college, and therefore no longer having the security of friends of their childhood.

Whatever the reason or motivation, my best advice: have fun and be yourself.  That is true with whatever people you meet.  The good ones will like you for who you are, the ones who do not are not worth your worry.

And…if you are a British or Italian Lolita looking for a penpal……… 😉

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